Category Archives: Entertainment

How Many Republicans…

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

  1. one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced
  2. one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,
  3. one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,
  4. one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,
  5. one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,
  6. one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,
  1. and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

??Via: Michael Hanscom??

Timberwolves

As Game 2 of the Timberwolves/Lakers series quickly approaches, I can only hope that Garnett/Sprewell/Cassell have a record evening.

Latrell Sprewell

A win in tonight’s game would be key, as being down 0-2 in the series would be devastatingly tough to come back from.

Timberwolves Game

Joe and I are going to the Timberwolves/Kings game on Saturday. It’ll be fun times. Section 222, Row P, Seats 4 and 5.

Nosebleed area. But they were only $32 or something.

Update: Sold the ticket to spend the evening with the girlfriend.

How To: Avoid Greenpeace

It’s springtime which means that Greenpeace is out in full force. If you are like me and desperately want to avoid them, read up.

Here’s some strategies for avoiding being stopped by those crazy petitioners:

Talk on your cell phone.
You don’t actually have to be talking to somebody on the her end, just act busy enough so they feel guilty stopping you.
Look Hot.
I mean if you’re beautiful and can make people forget what they were saying…
Travel in large groups.
Make sure to all look away from the Greenpeace member and laugh or something such that they understand you don’t want to talk to them.
Eye contact.
Look at them like you are about to stop and talk to them. Open things up with “How are you doing?” or something like that. Of course they’ll respond, at which point you’ll be just walking past them. And then it’s too late for them to start their “Do you have a moment for Greenpeace?” spiel.
Be an asshole.
Just ignore them completely.
Politely decline.
A quick “No thanks.” Make up a good excuse like you’re late for class (which you usually are) or that you have an important midterm.

This list is not exhaustive and I’m open for suggestions on how I can better avoid the plague that strikes the U of M every spring and fall.

Tontie

I stumbled across Tontie a few weeks ago. Let me tell you it is one addictive flash game. The general premise is that you use the numberpad to in a “Whack-a-mole” fashion, however it rapidly gets much harder than that. I never got past level 8 or so, although Dave managed to get to Level 11 a couple of times.

Squirrel Fishing

Leave it to Nick Stein to do crazy things like go Squirrel Fishing. As I understand, the concept is to bait the squirrel with a peanut tied to the end of a string, and then reel the squirrel in as if you were fishing. It’s quite bizarre and probably only works on the ultra-tame squirrels we have here at the U of M.

Squirrel Fishing

Honestly, it reminds me of those times at camp that we baited squirrels with peanut butter and captured them under plastic wash bins. It was quite amusing. Apparently some of the others transfered the squirrels into plastic garbage bags and hauled them out to the lake and dumped them in the water.