It’s springtime which means that Greenpeace is out in full force. If you are like me and desperately want to avoid them, read up.

Here’s some strategies for avoiding being stopped by those crazy petitioners:

Talk on your cell phone.

You don’t actually have to be talking to somebody on the her end, just act busy enough so they feel guilty stopping you.

Look Hot.

I mean if you’re beautiful and can make people forget what they were saying…

Travel in large groups.

Make sure to all look away from the Greenpeace member and laugh or something such that they understand you don’t want to talk to them.

Eye contact.

Look at them like you are about to stop and talk to them. Open things up with “How are you doing?” or something like that. Of course they’ll respond, at which point you’ll be just walking past them. And then it’s too late for them to start their “Do you have a moment for Greenpeace?” spiel.

Be an asshole.

Just ignore them completely.

Politely decline.

A quick “No thanks.” Make up a good excuse like you’re late for class (which you usually are) or that you have an important midterm.

This list is not exhaustive and I’m open for suggestions on how I can better avoid the plague that strikes the U of M every spring and fall.