From Today’s Network:

From Harmony_Joy_Bus_Ride
I write you today with a brilliant suggestion for relieving all that final exam tension. This idea “came” to me as I was riding the connector from St. Paul to East bank. The bus was almost empty, it was a particularly bumpy ride, and I was in the back seat. Oooohh yeah just think of the possibilities—especially for all of us ladies out there! I can usually “accomplish my goal” between the fairgrounds and the Huron lots, with time left to regain my composure by the time I get to my stop at Moos Tower. If you’re one of those ladies that needs a little more “encouragement,” try these suggestons: cell phone = vibrator. round trip = double your pleasure. pocket size photos of echidnas = fuzzy mind stimulation! Rock over London, Rock on, Minneapolis. Net: We’re not exactly sure what you’re talking about. Does it have something to do with all those girls sitting on the dryers in the Middlebrook laundry room? They all seemed unusually happy for some reason. Probably because almost all their clothes will be nice and dry, without a trace of moisture.

So the summer before my Senior Year I went to a math camp over the summer called MOP (Math Olympiad Program). Anyway I had a great time as you might expect. Anyway, I was looking over MOPper World which is just one participants website where he tries to present the cumulative memories in a semi-coherent way. Anyway, it was pretty nostalgic looking over the pictures and the quotes and such.

Which leads me to my point: they have on the website the funniest bridge bidding conventions I’ve seen. You have to understand that all the people there are total dorks. Well I mean look at me.. I went. When I was there we played bridge all the time (because it’s a good intellectual game and the people playing chess were crazy good (had world rankings)). Well, here’s one example of their “bidding conventions” from this past year:

The “I have 12 cards” convention: if North has a terrible hand, he pretends to count his cards, and says, “I have 12 cards”. If South also has a terrible hand, he says, “I have 14 cards — redeal,” and they proceed to throw their cards into the center of the table before East and West realize what’s going on. If South has a good hand, however, he says, “Hmm, I have 13 cards,” and while East and West are counting their cards, North suddenly “finds” the extra card and play continues as normal.

So I was reading Slashdot and came across a link to Physics Jokes. They are HILARIOUS. Well for me at least.

Did you hear about the restaurant NASA is starting on the Moon? Great food, no atmosphere!

Two atoms bump into each other:
“I think I’ve lost an electron!” says one.
“Are you sure?” replies the other.
“I’m positive!”

(I’d be surprised if any of you got this one:)
“What’s new?”
“E over h.”

Heisenberg is pulled over for speeding:
“Do you know how fast you were going?” the police officer asks, incredulously.
“No,” replies Heisenberg, “but I know exactly where I am!”

A physicist, who has spent the evening out, is caught by his wife trying to sneak into his house early the next morning. Saying that he has something to confess, he tells of meeting a woman in a bar, drinking too much and winding up going home with her. “You shit,” his wife screams, “you’ve been working late in the lab again!”

Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a rat?
A: Pig rat sine theta.

So this neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of lager and begins to open his wallet when the barman says, “For you, no charge!”.

On a bumper sticker with white lettering on a red background: “If this sticker looks blue, you are driving too fast.”

This is Dick Gephardt’s shadow (according to Yahoo News).

Nice wang, eh?